and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
NoShamevember. You game?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
