I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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