I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
