We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
