I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We are two peas in an std pod
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I'm having to shit out rocks
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize