And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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