I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Randomize
