you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize