so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
