I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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