At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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