I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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