Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Randomize