i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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