Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Everything about him screamed your future.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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