so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm too high and old for this...
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
