yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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