so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
