I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
