He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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