And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
