they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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