Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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