I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
