Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
