I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
