How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
