can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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