Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
