I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
