Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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