and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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