but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
