He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Is Oprah even human
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
