I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
