remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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