Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize