i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
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