Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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