she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
