Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
