just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
