so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
this beer tastes like vomit already
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
