I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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