pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
