i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize