I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
