I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
