do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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