turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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