the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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