whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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