my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
