That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
