my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Watching her eat just hurts me
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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