grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
