Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
