My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize