Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
